Tuesday, October 23, 2007

its tuesday and i have homework.

so this is my first blog and i probably really suck at it, but whatever.
so what i have for you today is this: my life freaking sucks at this moment. well, not completely, but it does A LOT. ive been dealing with my parents financial advisor, scott, who can be really good-for-nothing. but he looks like ken (barbies boyfriend), so he can really get away with a lot. its amazing how far good looks can get you. he would know. but he wont give me money, and hes supposed to. and i have a great lawyer, art, that i love. more than life. i need to be his stepdaughter or something. he counsels me. i pay him $275/hr to counsel me on how to talk to scott. wtf. not fair. but whatev. so, i'm broke. dead broke. scott told me WEEKS ago that i was supposed to have money in the bank, and i have nothing. notta. and i just got this new apartment. wtf. and comcast came, they need to be paid..and i maxed out my credit cards. but hey, i have a bed. so im sweating most of the day. reality is harsh. i'm starting to deal with it. and it aint good. i cant believe how someones life can change so much in just 9 months. its crazy. my dad and stepmom just passed away and i still cant believe it. i feel like now its hitting me. i've been saying "wtf" to myself for months now. but i feel so strong lately. i KNOW im strong. i'm living in SF by myself with no help, going to school full time, i was working full time (now i dont have to, so i'm not) and dealing with the fact that the 2 most important people in my life have gone away forever. i'm glad theyre together, thats where she wanted to be. still. that only helps for a second. then im back to square one. i've been single for a while now, too. its got to be so much easier to deal with these kinds of things with someone by your side.

so, newer, way better news: i've known this guy, aaron, for a few yrs now. we never talked. ever. i never wanted to. he seemed like deuche bag. i dont know why. he always had a gf, too. so i went back to detroit for a month in august. i got drunk at the rock room. he was there. so i decided, fuck it, i'll talk to him. but i KEPT talking. didnt stop. flirting really bad, it was terrible. i was super embarrased the next day. so we talked on myspace after that and he wanted to hang out when i got bk to detroit this past wknd. i told him to call me because i really dont call people back, especially if i havent talked to you on the phone before. its weird, i know. so he called me a few hrs after i got off the plane. we met up at rosie o'gradys that night. i've been hooked ever since. we hung out everyday while i was home. spooned several times. it was incredible. then i had to go to back to SF. worst day of my life. so now, i'm stuck here in SF and constantly thinking about him. this is us:

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ok, diego and jana are about to come ova. i'm off for now. talk with you soon.


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